Some additional FAQ and tips to help maximize your Monktoberfest enjoyment/Real Portland visit.  To point you in the right direction, we’ve compiled a small list of our favorite haunts, conveniences, and closest amenities.


Get a coffee?

Like Fake Portland, we are partial to our locally-owned coffee shops and we support them heartily. Speckled Ax is a favorite of Monktoberfest attendees–just ask @aneel or @monkchips. We also highly recommend the excellent Bard Coffee and Arabica Coffee Company, both conveniently located within quick walking distance from the Library.  Both Bard and Arabica offer WiFi to customers.

Get breakfast?

Monktoberfest will serve breakfast items both days beginning at 10 AM.  If you require sustenance before 10 AM, and you want to venture beyond the confines of your hotel’s kitchen, we recommend the following:

  • Bayside American Cafe:  A Portland favorite, Bayside American Cafe serves up a mean breakfast.  In particular, it’s known for two things: creative egg benedicts and decadent french toasts. It is open for breakfast/brunch everyday from 7am-2pm.
  • Crooked Mile:  Conveniently located between the Hampton Inn/Residence Inn the Crooked Mile serves up coffee, breakfast sandwiches, and bagels for take-away or eat-in.  (The Crooked Mile also serves lunch.)
  • Staying on the West End? Swing by OhNo Café for a famous breakfast sandwich (served all day) or order off the lunch and dinner menu. There’s also a great beer and wine selection.
  • If you’re an early bird, Becky’s Diner opens at 4am and serves a variety of diner favorites.  They also serve lunch and dinner, open until 9pm.

Get lunch?
Monktoberfest will provide lunch with local beers on Thursday. If you’re looking for lunch options on Wednesday or Friday, Portland is not short on places to eat.  To help narrow your choices, may we recommend:

  • Sushi: Miyake on Fore Street is hands-down the best sushi in Portland, if not the northeast.  Try Oxbow Beer’s tasty Sasuga Saison, a rice ale fermented with brettanomyces and saison yeast, brewed especially for Miyake.  Tasty alternatives include Sapporo on Commercial Street or Yosaku on Danforth.
  • Dine-in with bar service: This one is a monkchips fave. Another popular Portland eatery, The Honeypaw has an irresistible menu with bar and full dining options.
  • Quick & easy:  The Portland Public Market is located across the street from the Portland Public Library.  It offers a la carte dining from a variety of vendors with take-away or dine-in options.

Eat if you’re a vegetarian?
The Green Elephant, or Green Dragon as it sometimes known, is the preferred choice of our area veggie-loving friends.

Food late night?
Need a post-Monktoberfest snack?  Brave the late-night coeds, if you dare: find Portland’s best late night options here.  


Buy beer?

Get a pint or three?

  • Duckfat: Right across from the Hampton Inn if you’re staying there, Duckfat is a small eatery with a limited but upscale beer selection. And the frites are, as you might expect, cooked in duckfat.
  • LFK:  LFK is serves up a small, but mighty tap/bottle list.  Friendly service, good eats.
  • Novare Res:  Impressive bottle list, we recommend pairing your beverage with the local cheese and meats.
  • Portland is proud of its Irish heritage.  The city boasts several Irish pubs.  And if you’re in the mood for an expertly pulled pint of Guinness, the Snug is a great place to go. If you’re served by a bartender that takes no guff, that’s Michelle and she’s awesome.

Hit Up A Brewery?
Portland is home to several excellent, small-scale breweries, several of which have tasting rooms and tours on Fridays.  To name a few: Allagash Brewing (it’s a short ride outside the city, but you can also go to Bissell Brothers, Foundation, and Austin Street while you’re there); Rising Tide BrewingMaine Beer Company.  The wonderful Oxbow Beer has a blending and bottling room over on Washington Ave. The main Oxbow brewery is a scenic 45 minute ride outside Portland, meanwhile, but well-worth the trip up the coast.


Find a taxi and transportation?  Portland is a very walkable city but in the event the New England weather conspires against us, here are a few ways to get around:

Portland is now an Uber/Lyft city, if you use that service. If not, here are the available cab companies:

  • ASAP Taxi: (207) 791-2727
  • ABC Taxi: (207) 772-8685
  • Jetport Cab: (207) 807-9797

* Please note: not unlike San Francisco, cabs are not as frequent in Portland as they may be in other cities.  If you plan to travel by taxi, we advise calling 10 or more minutes ahead for a cab.


  • Portland METRO:  Not having used the city’s bus system, we can’t vouch for its reliability, but we can tell you it is quite popular and widely used by Portland’s denizens.
  • Car Service: Mermaid Transportation provides car service to the Portland International Jetport (PWM) and Boston/Logan Airport (BOS).
  • Concord Trailways:  Regular bus service to Logan Airport and Boston’s South Station.  Free WiFi.
  • Downeaster Amtrak (Anyone else singing Billy Joel? No? Just me?): Daily service between Portland and Boston’s North Station.  Free WiFi.

Get office supplies/ship things/send a fax/etc.?  There is a Fedex/Kinkos located directly across the street from the Portland Public Library and next door to the Portland Public Market.

Go for a run?  Portland has some of the prettiest running trails/paths in the country.  Find your ideal run here.

Find a pharmacy? We have multiple CVS Pharmacies, as well as Walgreens scattered throughout the city.

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